16.Job in Jehovah’s Betting Shop

“Now there was a day when the Sons of the Elohim came to present themselves before Jehovah,and Satan came also with them.” (Job I:6)

The Book of Job is supposed to be one of the oldest parts of the Old Testament  and it is certainly one of the weirdest. Jehovah, one of the Elohim, a Divine Potter responsible for creating the Golem-Adam is giving an audience to the sons of the Elohim. Satan seems to be one of them, a kind of a roving ambassador, whose job seems to be to examine the loyalty of human beings to Jehovah. He is a challenger and examiner of men’s free will. Jehovah provokes Satan to tempt a perfect human worshipper, Job of Uz, a rich and pious man, who “feared the Elohim and avoided evil”. From then on it seems that Satan and Jehovah are taking bets on Job’s losing or winning his fierce battle against Satan’s authorized assaults on him. Satan has a low opinion of human beings in general and bets on Job’s greed (financial ruin), pride in his family (death of all members permitted by loving Jehovah) and physical suffering (nasty boils and no pharmaceutical companies to offer drugs with side-effects). The ethical and moral aspects of Jehovah’s experiments on Job seem a bit questionable though, as in the standard Bollywood movies, the happy ending is duly provided to make us feel good. If Jehovah was the all-knowing God, then he would have known the outcome of Job’s trial in advance and, therefore, the whole “betting shop” exercise was unfair to Satan, whose naivety appears awesome. On the other hand, if human free will is the great unknown, then both Jehovah and Satan were simply trying to find out how much a man can suffer before he turns nasty and starts snarling at God. 

Picture by Wm Blake:Satan inflicting boils on Job.

15. Mouth-to-Nose With a Golem

“And Jehovah Elohim formed man (of) the dust of the earth and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.” (Gen.2:7)

I have already dealt with the “dust of the earth” in my earlier exaggerated exegesis entry of the Book of Genesis. That second Adam was a golem, a mystical creature of the Hebrew kabbalistic stories. The most famous bestseller of the early years of the last century was Austrian Gustav Meyrink’s novel The Golem, which is a story about a rabbi who formed a humanoid creature from clay and then animated it with a kabbalistic spell. In one sense it was a spooky spirit of the Prague ghetto, in another it was a kabbalistic Frankenstein. The plot of that occult story can be read here. A reliable and interesting background to the legendary “shapeless mass” (or perhaps mess) which is the Hebrew meaning of the word, can found on this website. Curiously enough, the author of that page says that according to a Talmudic legend “… Adam is called “golem,” meaning “body without a soul” (Sanhedrin 38b) for the first 12 hours of his existence”. I am intrigued by the choice of nostrils by Jehovah Elohim to inject “the breath of life” into his golem. Wouldn’t mouth-to-mouth be a more effective resuscitation? The word “aph” (nose) basically means “a place for breathing” but also “face” and frequently “anger, wrath”, probably because heavy breathing is a sign of roused emotions. Another rather unusual meaning is “two persons” and that would fit to the image of an androgynous Adam. Jehovah Elohim must have breathed twice to revive both Adam and as yet unrevealed Eve. I could muse in this context on the meaning of two channels of breathing in the yoga teaching (ida and pingala) which may have some relevance to the resuscitation of golems. But as there are already far too many of those confused lumps of clay walking the planet and ruining my savings, I’d rather leave the subject and take care of my own “living soul” plus a few gold coins.

14. The Third Eye & Digital Camera

“The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single,thine whole body is also full of light; but when it be useless, also thy body is dark.(Luke XI.34)

The key Greek words in these intriguing teaching of Jesus are “haplous” and “poneros”. The first means “single” as opposed to twofold; the second can mean worthless, bad or useless. Trust the modern translators, totally lost in ignorance, to translate the two words as “sound” and “evil” or “unsound”.

Luke, the only scientist-physician among Gospel authors, probably knew or guessed that Jesus was talking of the pineal gland or the third eye. The message from the Teacher was activate your pineal gland and then you will have your inbuilt spiritual digital camera and your physical frame will react to the flash of  spiritual light. Scientists today are still very unsure about the true function of the pineal gland, though it is known that the cells of that gland resemble the photoreceptors of the eyes. Pineal gland secretes a hormone melatonine which affects circadian rhythms, while other cells of the third eye play some as yet poorly understood role in dreaming, meditation, NDEs and clairvoyance. In a strange way, Jesus was also predicting a human substitute for the third eye – photographic camera. Its lens is the single eye, its flash is illumination of the dark objects and it enables us to see what our eyes often fail to notice. This is especially true of the digital camera whose photos, when examined on the computer, reveal an intriguing world of human-like faces, shapes, forms and rune-like letters.  A couple of examples of myDig!C (do you dig what you see) personal “single eye” (light flash built into its body). Old trees hiding many strange faces of elves, dryads and such.

13.Fishy Secrets of The Virgin

The most amazing thing about all biblical texts is that they contain immense human knowledge encoded in ridiculous gossip stories about fictitious people.  Every branch of science is hidden inside those scandalous stories about immoral doings of the patriarchs or strange miracles of  an obscure Jewish preacher, shooting off  into space without a rocket. What was in the original “Word of God” we shall probably never know, because what we have today are merely hearsay reports, poorly deciphered ancient words and made-up stories from anonymous hordes of translators. The New Testament is mostly about astronomy,geometry, physics and biology- all converted into a religious gobbledegook, which was necessary 2,000 years ago to usher the Age of Pisces. As the sun has just moved into the constellation of Virgo, let’s take a quick look at the astro-scientific meaning of that sign of the Zodiac. Its glyph is c, which reads M for Mary or Maya– virginal mothers of  Jesus and Buddha, though it could be also read as double M for Mary Magdalene, the forgotten wife of Joshua/Jesus. The opposite sign of Virgo is Pisces,- the twin Fishes about which there is a wealth of colourful stories in the legends of many nations. The early Christians used the sign of Pisces or perhaps the geometrical glyph of vesica piscis – fish bladder or lantern made of it, as the symbol of their new  Piscean religion.One of the early Christian writers found an anagram created from the Greek words “Jesus Christ God’s Son Redeemer” (Iesous Christos Theu Yios Soter) which transliterated reads I.Ch.Th.Y.S – fish. The simple message hidden here is “Jesus was an Avatar of the Piscean Age, probably born in Feb/March from cary, who was his Virgoan mother.” Many interesting links on this subject can be read here and there, but there are far too many pages on these fascinating subjects to be quoted in my short entry. As the Age of Pisces is rapidly receding and the Age of Aquarius knocks on the door, it would be interesting to speculate what would be the sign of the Avatar of the new religion humanity needs now very badly to replace those polluted by lies and deliberate misinterpretations. cÂi

12.Fallen Angels Falling For Women

“When men began to multiply on the face of the ground, and daughters were born to them, the sons of Elohim saw that the daughters of men were fair; and they took to wife such of them as they chose…The Nephilim were on the earth in those days…”

(Gen.6:1-2,4)

The Books of Moses are either a complete fiction or a true history of humanity from its very beginnings, written in a pre-Babel language and subsequently mistranslated by later generations of interpreters who no longer knew the metaphors and meanings of their ancestors. Emmanuel Swedeborg, scientist-mystic of XVIIIc., deciphered some of the biblical texts as far as his own knowledge and beliefs allowed him to do so.  In his monumental work “The Celestial Mysteries”, he based his interpretation of the puzzling stories on the theory that all the visible things in the material world are symbolic representations of the invisible world. Knowledge about the analogous nature of our reality is what he called the science of correspondences – the art of reading the metaphorical language of the most ancient members of the human family. Swedenborg could not accept the possibility of the “sons of God” being attracted by women of the Venus of Willendorf type, but maybe being a pious Lutheran old batchelor he had never heard of the saying that “not what is pretty, but what you find attractive that matters”. Anyway, in his interpretations the “sons of God” (more correctly “of Elohim”) were higher types of divine truths which were “captured” in some way by purely human, sensual desires represented symbolically by the “daughters of Adam”. He explains elsewhere, that biblical females from Eve onwards symbolise human feeling, emotions and desires – from the loftiest to the lowest, while men are symbols of the rational and logical human mind. In modern phraseology: the dominant left or right brain hemisphere. In this sense we are all androgynes to a lesser or greater degree. According to the undeciphered meaning of  Gen.VI:4 the sons of the Elohim and their human females produced a mysterious race of Nephilim, a name which in some versions has been translated as “giants”. The Hebrew word “NPhLIM” has in its roots two possibilities: one is that the Nephilim were space travellers frrom the constellation of Orion (known as The Giant) or that they were The Fallen Ones, the large scale “migration” to our planet of the rebel angels.  The root NPhL carries a likely meaning of “excellent and skilful rebels”.  Sumerian mysterious race of beings called Annunaki bears some resemblances to Hebrew Anakim, descendants of the progeny of  the Fallen Ones. Human memory must still retain traces of those “mighty men that were of old, the men of renown”, which is why people even today erect those giant figures of their famous or infamous leaders. Last word to Swedenborg who claims that the Nephilim were ancient people with gigantic egos who, presumably, regarded themselves oa local deities to be worshipped by mere humans. The more it changes, the more it remains the same.

11. Judge Pardons Killer Vegetarian

Weekly Gazette Genesis reports:

“The Supreme Court sentenced vegetarian killer Cain to be exiled to Nodland. Cain slayed his twin brother Abel, a lambburger addict, when they quarreled about respective virtues of their chosen diet. Asked in the departure lounge  about a curious tattoo on his forehead, Cain said he was also puzzled about its purpose. “ The Judge told me it was to warn other guys to lay off me, but as there ain’t no living soul about, ‘cept my mum and dad, and they are staying put, I am not sure what he meant. Anyroad, maybe I find some chick in the Nodland – you never know your luck, eh?”

In the original version of events (Gen.IV:1-16) Abel was a companion of flocks (ROH YzAN) and Cain an earth worshipper (OBD ADMH), which the translators simplified into a shepherd and an agricultural worker. But as text clearly shows they were, in fact, priests or leaders of two different and competing kinds of religions or beliefs. Abel was not so much currying, as grilling favours with Jehovah, sacrificing lambs, sheep and goats at the BBQs, while Cain had only potatoes, vegetables and weeds to offer. In the symbolic language of our ancestors, sheep represented higher goods while the “fruits of the ground” were lower, material values. The image of a good shepherd and his flocks is woven into the New Testament as well as a symbol of a High Priest and his followers.

The killing of  Abel was a signal of victory for the Cainites and the followers of the Good Shepherd presumably went underground to avoid a wholesale slaughter (Gen.IV:10 “The voice of your brother’s blood is crying to me from the ground”). With Jehovah’s condemnation of the murder, the Kainites were, in turn, afraid of the Abelites revenge (Gen.IV:14” …whoever find me will slay me”) which proves yet again that Abel and Cain were names of human societies. Jehovah decided to protect the Kainites and their beliefs, but they were banished to a colony like Australia in her early days, far away from the orthodox Adamites. They managed there quite well, building a city and developing agriculture, arts and crafts. The mysterious mark that Jehovah put on Cain was some kind of a warning to others that he was “untouchable” and should not be socialized with as a condemned heretic. Maybe a few letters that said “Beware! A Vegetarian!”  

10. Androgyne’s Return and Cloning

Adam-Eve, known as „parents” of the human race, dressed by Jehovah Elohim in leather jackets and kicked out from the Paradise, had before them a daunting task of populating the whole planet given to them as their home. Adam declared Eve to be his wife, but was such a relationship legal between two halves of an Androgyne? There was no question of ever returning to the Garden of Eden, because as it was plainly stated in the Bible, JE created it as a place of  employment for Adam. No Adam, no Eden. Some interpreters of biblical events suggest that the “flaming sword”, defending the Tree of Lives, was actually a comet that destroyed the original planet where the Paradise was planted and turned it into a swarm of asteroids. There are legends about that event preserved in Sumerian records.  The process of populating the Planet of Exile by Adam-Eve presents a somewhat confused story. At first, Adam used his reproductive knowledge to impregnate Eve, who produced two peculiar sons: Cain, who had some unexplained etymological link with Jehovah (Eve called him Cain because “ I received a male human being from Jehovah”) and Abel whose name meant “mist, breath, vanity, abortion”. Kain (QIN=to forge iron, spear) was as hard as iron and a complete contradiction of the soft and etheric Abel. It is possible that those two were actually twins, because there are many legends about twins fighting each other. Cain who killed his brother (curiously “swallowed by the earth” after his death) received  from Jehovah a protective tattoo on his forehead and emigrated to a Vagabond Land (Nod=wanderer). There he met a woman (who she?), begat a few sons and founded a city.  Eve disappears from the Bible and is never mentioned again, even though most translators consider that it is no longer necessary to mention the “Mother of All Living” by name. Perhaps, she withdrew from the hopeless task of populating the earth by endless childbearing and it was now up to Adam to take over. Indeed, in chapter V, the biblical story tellers take us back to chapter I, reminding us that the Elohim created a hybrid in the likeness of themselves – an androgyne.

It seems that, deserted by his female half, Adam reverted to his androgyne self and, at the age of 130, started cloning  (Gen.V:3 “he became the father of a son in his own likeness, after his image, and named him Seth.”)  The planet was then succesfully populated by male and female clones of Adam until, exhausted by all his efforts, he kicked the bucket at the overripe age of  930 years. Well, who wouldn’t?  It all sounds like pure nonsense, but it is most likely a true story embedded deeply in the symbolical language of people who have lived millions of years ago – our true ancestors

9. Another Serpent Licks the Dust

I think I know how serpents must feel when they are crawling on a dusty surface. I am a dust eater myself like all human and non-human beings on this dusty planet, because those minute particles of matter (and it matters not what kind of matter it is) are everywhere and we certainly inhale them and eat them. I have finished dusting my house a few hours ago and I can already write my name in the dust on top of the computer. Where the devil does it come from? Perhaps, only the serpent knows the answer. I have been musing today on that idea of dust which is used in the Bible with so many different meanings attached to it. Look at those three quotes: “Then Jehovah Elohim formed man of dust from the ground (Gen.2:7) “and to serpent he said:upon your belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat” (Gen.3:14) and when Jacob is dreaming about ladders and angels, Jehowah tells him that he will give the earth on which Jacob is lying “ to thee and to your seed. And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth…” . Ancient people spoke in colourful metaphors which do not translate well into modern languages. In the first quote above, the writer is punning on two words which may well have many hidden meanings.”et hadam aphar min h.adamah” means literally that JE formed “adam from the dust (aphar) of adamah” or as near as I can get it in English “an earthling from the dust of the earth”. Adam is a masculine noun and the earth (adamah) is feminine, which only proves that it was The Eternal Female who provided the atoms for the Great Potter to make his clay male toyboy. My third quote seems to agree with that atomic dust of creation, because the metaphor is now linked to human seed. But why is that seeded atomic dust given as food to the snake? Did our distant ancestors know about the shape of the DNA , the atomic dust, and associated it with the coils of the snake? Who knows…I can only make a bold guess and hope they will be proven one day from other sources. In the quote about Jacob, the word “dust” obviously stands for a very large number which modern mathematician would call a “googol” (10¹⁰⁰) but the ancient people,perhaps, called “aphar-dust”. Well, DNA has millions of genes and they are made of particles whose number is “dust”-googol. Meanwhile, modern technology has provided me with a mechanical snake which licks the dust off my carpets and thus fulfills the literal curse on his serpent-prototype from the beginning of times.

8.Lust Wrapped in Fig Leaves

“Of all wordly passions, lust is the most intense. All other wordly passions seem to follow in its train.” Buddha

As soon as the former androgyne couple saw their own bare bodies, which resulted from the side-effects of eating unwashed fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Bad, Adam became panicky, Eve giggled, but being a practical woman she apparently started thinking about making some temporary covering for their nudity. This is a story that the biblical translators want us to buy “Then the eyes of both of them were opened and they knew that there were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves aprons.” When we decipher the Hebrew text a very different story emerges. Ancient people often used the word “nakedness” as a polite term for sexual organs. The Serpent, male or female, was there probably to initiate the newly formed heterosexual beings  into the mysteries of sexual life. After consuming the fruits of their newly-acquired knowledge, they became aware of their anatomical differences which, in turn, stirred up their lust and the urge to explore their unfamiliar abilities. As Buddha rightly observed, lust, that most intensive of all human passions was there in the beginning. It was the consummation of the sexual act that the timid biblical translators called “sewing of fig leaves as pants to cover their genitals”. I must depart here briefly from semantics and plunge into semiotics – the science of interpreting signs and gestures. One of the very ancient gestures, present in many cultures but having different meanings, has been the thumb clasped between the middle and the index fingers. It is usually called the fig sign and in some societies it has strong sexual significance. In English, we use fig as a symbol of defiance *I don’t give a fig*, and Adam and Eve were certainly defying  the order of JE and, frightened by their disobedience, dived into the bushes, hoping the All-seeing Owner of Eden won’t find them.  But why did the translators use the rather uncomfortable fig leaves as the couples loin-wraps? Because Hebrew word “fig or fig leaves –tenah”, without diacritical signs- looks identical with the word “taanah – copulation, sexual lust” (ThANH) (Jer.2:24). The same verse in true translation reads now: “Then they became aware of their sexual organs and copulated.” As simple as that. More about this interesting subject of the symbolism of the fig sign on this page  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hand_gesture#Fig_sign

PS. Fresh figs are actually quite delicious as an hors d’oeuvre with melted goat cheese.  Try it and you may know what lust for figs means.J

7.Disentangling The Original Sin

Enmeshed in his own tangle of errors a translator has often no other choice but to wade even deeper into more silly mistakes, until he finally gets totally lost. Such was the fate of the third chapter of Genesis, where the translators, excited by the drama of the original sin about to happen,stumbled on the very first word “nachash”. In the untranslated Hebrew Torah, letters have no vowel signs and the translator must rely on his memory or imagination which word to choose from many available options. NChSh as a a verb appears in other places of the Bible as meaning “to learn by experience, to practise enchantments, to use sorcery, to hiss or whisper as a soothsayer, to augur, to forbode , to divine or to take something as an omen.” As a noun the same word can mean someone practising sorcery, a diviner or enchanter, but also a serpent (from hissing) and from its root meaning to shine, it was often used as a synonym for copper, brass or things made from those shining metals like chains, fetters. money etc. In this  bountiful choice the translators considered the serpent as the most likely tempter and they were wrong. Instead of writing ” Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made,”they should have written “The brightest among all the beings living on the land where Jehovah Elohim created them was the Enchanter.” Beasts of the field (chayat he sadeh) was only one of many other possible translations. Chayi is also an anima, a vital body or any living being including animals.The word “field” means a country, a plain or a level. The translators could not accept that apart from Adam and Eve there might have been other human-like beings in that experimental creative field of Jehovah Elohim. The choice of serpent as the seducer of Eve wasn’t very fortunate from the start, because we may wonder in what language was that reptile talking to a human being and how did it know that there was a forbidden tree, unless it was eavesdropping or JE himself told him. When angry JE yells at the serpent and says “thou art cursed above all cattle…and upon thy belly shall thou go…” we are being led into the world of comics where only kids and slow-witted people will believe what they hear.  The serpent has always crawled on its belly, which should have been apparent to the translators and to JE himself, because what snake is and does can be seen by everybody. In this chapter Eve became a victim of the translators, not of the snake who wasn’t there. She was enchanted by a Sorcerer, shining like a copper bracelet and muttering his incantations. Some medieval painters (eg Hieronymus Bosch)  gave the serpent a human face and torso of a woman while the rest of her body was a serpent. Did they know something that was still obvious in their times? Or, perhaps, the original sin was plotted between two women – the Witch Nachash and Eve, the female half of the separated Androgyne.